My thoughts and out loud thoughts on composition, performance, and many things musical.

I’m A New Yorker

I’ve been in New York City since January 19, and it’s been amazing.

This city is exactly what I needed, on all accounts. It is a city full of emotion, full of opinions, and full events to sway and challenge me. I’m realizing, more than ever, what an emotional person I am. That’s not really news to me, but there are so many reasons to trigger deep, authentic reactions here, than anywhere else I’ve been before.

It’s the old apartment I moved Ben and Nick out of, that was falling apart and covered with mice infestations and mold and clearly not cared for by the landlords. I left the apartment whilst moving furniture to cry. My best friends lived, and succeeded, and built a musical life for themselves, in a home they did not deserve, and it absoutely broke my heart.

It’s the homeless, drugged woman on the train who has soiled her self and the cart she sat on. I watched her, with her long dirty fingernails, eating a chocolate pudding given to her with her hands, scare people off of the train onto another one. I could have left, but I did not. The smell of urine and filth was strong. I watched as she portrayed what must have been her last surviving feminine quality; the way she used her middle fingers to brush her hair behind her ears. She was totally gone. Had she been a mother? Had she loved ever?

It’s the man in Starbucks, naturally at a disadvantage in the public because of social inabilities and apparent mental impairments, yet out-loudly defiant, in trying to get a job and be the best version of himself he can be.

However, it’s also the students inviting me to a new music festival, trying their best to make a tangible and time-testing performance in the name of art.

It’s the way people look at me when I perform. They enjoy what I have to say, and I enjoy what I’m saying.

It’s the gorgeous people. Everyone here is gorgeous. …Like…wow.

And all of that brings me to my music. I have an album that’s just about ready to be released. I have compositions I’m working on. A string quintet I’ve always talked about, having roughly started it in 2010, will clearly be done this year. All of these emotional pivot points that pop up everyday are helping to nurture and sprout creativity inside of me. I’m writing more creatively, more honestly, and, really, much quicker.

I have been working at a restaurant called Grey Dog. SUPER easy. Tasty food. Great people. At the time of writing this I just had a job to work at a dear musical venue/institution. *fingers-crossed* I have also met my new Army Reserve unit. They seem like affable folk, and I’m looking forward to making a significant, positive change in that atmosphere.

Only here, in New York City, do I seem to never have any time, but also have all the time in the world to achieve the things I want to. All of my favorite musicians live out here, and I’ve already met a few. I’ve befriended some as well.

I live a great apartment, with two great human beings, both of whom are so talented, reliable, and confidants in all things in my life.

There is a lot of productivity to come, and a lot of great experiences. I am SO happy I live in a world, now, that inherently supports the things I wish to say.

I’ve been in New York City since January 19, and it’s been amazing.

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